Scadalous/ Sunday, December 10
First of all..HAPPIEEEee 19th BIRTHDAE TRACY WAN..though u're alwaes the last to turn older..almost when the yr's almost up..we still love yaa..thinkin back..i miss the times we used to write each other 7 to 8 postcards EVERYDAEEe although we see each other EVERY SINGLE DAEee!! i miss the times kim..adel and i would meet at boonlay fer sch everydae picking u up at clem bus stop..i miss the PMS daes..the Girls' Brigade daee..the hanging outs..and simply the warmness u guys could offer..but i guess..things change..cuz we're constantly pushed to move on..many things u dun ever wans an end..had been forced into beautiful memories u nv wanted to haf..sumtimes yes..u realli wan them as they used to be..but sumtimes..let's admit..we tot we can do without turnin ur vision back..as u move on life's journey..everything slowly becums the future..not yesterdaee..sumtimes u stop..and wants to seek the comfort u once had..but u struggle in findin them now..it's not easy i guess..to juz be u or urself..it's not easy being tracy..it's not easy being med..it's not easy being kim..it's not easy being rino..it's not easy being sam..it's not easy being min..it's not easy being yen..it's not easy being xf..and it's definitely not easy being ME..i dun understand how each and every of u is living ur life..and let's be fair..U DUN UNDERSTAND MY LIFE TOO..sumtimes u think ur problem is the biggest..and ur life is the worse..tt's becuz u haven met one tt's worse than urs..u think u're all cooped up with work and assignment..and u tink u haf tonnes of them..but dun think NO ONE CAN EVER HAF LESSER THAN URS..if u think u're a busy person and yet u can sqeeze out time..haf u ever thot sumone has felt that 24 hrs a dae is nv enuff fer 2 whole yr already? ok..if i think i'm living my life to the FULLEST of wad GOD could grant outta 24 hrs..i may be wrong..sumone might be like me..and even using my sleeping hrs to work on stuffs..and how do we measure..*childish*..i mean..who cares who has more things to do..or is more busy..u juz haf to go with the heart..u dun feel it..yet u wanna go ahead with it and feel weird doing it..u wish to go..but u haf other things in hand..u wish to go again..but u will juz feel outta placee..buts buts butts..and they equate selfish?? fine if tt's ur deduction..u haf the final sae to ur OWN thinking which u so conveniently label it as unselfish thinking urself..and how well do u reckon u noe me now..or rather how well do u think u can noe a person when u see the person at most 4 times a yr..? and u expect..and demand..neglectin other FACTS..i'm not sayin she no longer needs us..but let's juz be frank here..QTMK- had been overidden..almost rather long ago if u had been asleep fer quite a while..and if u had juz woken up aft abt 1 yr of slp..u would haf noticed this..and the muz hafs are no long QMK fer T..it's BKTG now..no offence..but u noe i'm frank..if forcing time out on special occasions is wad u deem fit as EFFORT..i beg to differ..EFFORT is all time round..not juz on special occasions..ever heard of the phrase..'everydae is Valentine's dae when i'm with u'...u dun juz purposely love that person more simply bcuz it's Vdae..so are u implyin that the other daes were almost rather fake den? no it's not wad u meant..but it's ur concept..if QTMK is wad's on ur mind..and it noe it's a special occasion fer T..but by using T's special occasion to hit and hurt another..u think it's an effort to put QTMK together? it's quite non sensicaL..one hand u're smashin one corner outta the 4..the other hand..u're smashing the opposite corner urself..and u blame me fer destroying this nice picture..ruined or not..u decide..and reflect urself..if wad u DID and SAID to me was ritee..but ultimately i noee..u will still think i'm at fault..and u haf none..it's normal..the kinship is long gone anywae..mutual understanding had been long forgotten anywae..trust had been thrown awaee..blames had been makin it's wae to us..coloured lens and perception is wad we possessed now..assumption is QTMK's new found friend..if u think by lashin out..u feel better..go ahead..cuz i do...and maybe tt's wad i'm doin now..i'm not at all pissed..realli..cuz dere's no much pt gettting pissed at ppl u actualli love..i'm juz being realli frank..cuz tt's how i wanna be with u guys..if u can't take this..u're not ready fer reality..a bond takes a process..not once in a while thing..u can't demand comfort..u haf to build the comfort zone..if it was in the past..it's realli no doubt dere's no one ANY of us wun be dere fer ANY occasions..but it's realli different now..i dun wanna tok abt it anymoree...leave me alone anywae..i'll be fine..though ur blame kinda hurt quite bad..i dunnoe how we are now..or where we each stand in each other's heart..dun put one down juz to bring the other up..it'll nv work this wae..i got no more to saee...Labels: RaNts
indulgence in the wee hrs 0f..
3:44:00 AM
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